August 17, 2008: Taking Off the Training Wheels
To our astonishment and great pride, Veronika learned to ride her bike (without the training wheels) in about a half-hour this afternoon. When she saw some of the neighbor kids riding "two-wheel bikes" in the last month, she started asking if we could take the training wheels off her bike, which I did yesterday. We took her up to her new school where they have a big lawn to ride on, the theory being that falling on grass is better than falling in a parking lot. I pushed her around and gave her pointers for a while, but in no time she was doing laps around the parking lot, waving to Mama, with me jogging beside her. After that, we couldn't pull her off it for another forty-five minutes.
What amazed me most was her confidence, as if it was a foregone conclusion that she would learn to ride right then and there, she just needed the right information. She took every piece of advice very seriously and kept repeating them to herself as she started the next run—balance, keep pushing, don't lean. She didn't really get frustrated at all, even when she took a couple of spills, she just wanted to know what to do next time to prevent it from happening.
She was so excited. Oh, to be able to put that feeling in a plastic jar. As the sun started to set, she was riding away from me, running commentary still going strong, and I heard her say, "I just practiced and practiced and then POOF! I knew how to ride my bike!"
Posted by papa at 11:35 PM
August 16, 2008: She's five!
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This is what happens to me when I know I need to write about some major thing about my kids... I avoid it (not that it is hard these days), because I'm somehow nervous about handling all the emotions that will resurface while I'm attempting to write a coherent text. The keyboard and the monitor seem insufficient to convey exactly what I'm trying to say. But enough about me.
Veronika turned five two weeks ago and it was by far the best birthday she has had or we have had with her. Lincoln went so far as to say that maybe 5 is the best age for having a birthday. Maybe that's true, but I'd rather not start thinking about how 5 is already the beginning of the end. I know what he meant though. It's the first birthday you can really anticipate. You know exactly what is involved and what it means and the excitement beforehand as we all know is at least half of the fun. On top of that you are not demanding and everything that by age 15 or 25 you will take for granted is still new and fabulous: the cake! the presents! the guests! You just can't have that kind of fun as an adult.
I started thinking about her birthday a couple of months before, wondering if we should do/have something special like last year where we spent the day with Thomas the Train. I just couldn't come up with anything satisfying and I didn't want to hand over the birthday party to a gymnastics club or restaurant or indoor playground. Not because I dislike them that much (I dislike them somewhat) but because one, I didn't want to invite 15 kids, which is usually the minimum and two, I didn't want to spend the money and three, I realize I wanted to be part of the preparation. Maybe this is selfish, but if birthdays are for five-year-olds, then watching your child be happy because of something you did is for parents.
Eventually we decided to just to the "normal" thing and invite her friends, make cake and prepare some games. As it turned out I think that's exactly what she wanted even though she probably couldn't have verbalized it. I took her to the party store to buy invitations, cups, napkins and goodie bags. She was mesmerized by that store, I will have to keep it in mind for the future, because she is incapable of speaking or hearing in there. The amount of stuff is just overwhelming. She picked out a pinata shaped like a tiara and when we headed home she couldn't stop talking about the store and what was in it and what else we needed. I think being involved in the preparations was really up her alley.. she's a little organizer and likes to take care of things (or being in control?). We came home and the invitations had to be written and sent immediately. Again, writing cards and letters is one of her favorite things, so that worked out great.
Most of the kids came (Tea, my cousin's daughter was here already, then Drew, the neighbor's kids Kaitleen and A.J.) and several adults too (Katie, James and Jill). I had set up a craft for the kids, they were to make their own party hats. Luckily they all took to it and glitter was spilled in abundance. The engineering wasn't perfect (party hats need very thin elastic for example, anything bigger will be too tough under the chin...), but I have time to practice in the next few years. We took some pictures of the kids with their new hats. After that we had some hot dogs and opened presents (oh the presents, they would be a story themselves).
Then, finally it was time for the pinata (Can we do the pinata yet? Is it time for the pinata?). Lincoln tied it between the staircase railing and the fence outside.. and then we started hitting.. and hitting and hitting and that thing would not break. Only after the adults started helping did it budge and the candy fell out... finally. The whole thing was a lot of fun though and was probably the highlight of the party. The kids had grabbed their goodie bags and filled them with the loot for the pinata.
After that it was time for cake and candles. I had asked her what cake she wanted but her answers changed weekly and daily until I just started agreeing and concluded I'd make what I could knowing what she liked. It ended up being a 3-layer chocolate and strawberry cream cake with white vanilla frosting, with a pink and purple butterfly on it - oh and her name spelled out. She blew the candles out immediately,when I had barely set the cake down. "Mama, you gotta try this frosting, it's SO GOOD."
Ah. My baby. If you only knew.
The whole event was amazing to watch. She was so excited, so so happy but also very focused. You could see her running around, opening the door when the bell rang, making sure all her friends were doing ok and what they were supposed to. She even organized the party-hat-photo. You can see her holding Ivan's hand in it with her smile bright and ready... She kept telling me how much fun she was having .."I love my birthday, mama!" and "You had a better idea for the goodies bags!" (I think she liked the part where they got to fill it themselves instead of getting them full already). You can tell she considered herself a full member of the party-planning committee, which is so sweet... If you know Veronika, you understand that her having adult responsibilities is something very important.
She's probably never looked forward to a day so much in her life and it seems it lived up to every expectation. On top of that there was never an emotional breakdown from all the attention and excitement, no pesky toddler-hormones to overcome. She was just in her element and enjoyed herself and everyone around her. I don't know who was happier at the end of that day, she or her parents. We just couldn't really process it... Every birthday is an anniversary for us, where inevitably we think back how it all started and it's just impossible to understand it all in a calm and logical fashion. Every child still feels like an enormous explosion in your life. It's impossible to determine it's scope and intensity and a birthday like this makes you look at it again and wonder how you deserved it. Lincoln and I talked about it for days afterwards. She was so happy... She had so much fun... And she said this to me... Remember...?
Thank you for a wonderful birthday, baby girl!
Posted by mama at 11:13 AM
August 16, 2008: She didn't look like she was bothered by it
In the bathtub, both kids are playing around, when there is a suspicious noise...
Veronika: Ivan?! What was that?
Ivan (grinning): Furzi... (fart)
Veronika (inhales): YEAH. I can smell it!
Posted by mama at 11:11 AM
July 24, 2008: Logic
Veronika and Ivan discuss something while putting their shoes on...
Veronika: So. Ivan. Can brothers and sisters marry each other?
Ivan: *somethingsomething*
Veronika: What? You want to marry Bibap (Phil)?
Ivan: Yeah!
Veronika (exasperated): Ivan! You can't marry Bibap. He's ALREADY married!
Posted by mama at 09:45 PM
April 13, 2008: The Real World
Veronika is all about realistic things lately—playing real games, describing the world accurately, questioning everything she's been told to understand why things are the way they are, etc. For example:
- Games: Even since Christmas, Veronika's been a card shark. Her repertoire includes Go Fish, Crazy Eights, Old Maid and Memory. She loves many kind of challenging games but these are especially great because her four-year-old mind, spacious and absorbent as it is, is well-suited to puzzles like this. Whereas the thirty- to fifty-year-old minds she plays against, intransigent and full of useless information like images of the 1989 Brewers' Topps baseball cards and Tommy Boy quotes, are ill-equipped for such a challenge. In other words, she can win and she likes it. She's not a gloater though and often wants to play long enough for everyone to get a chance to win.
- Make Believe: Most of the pretend scenarios in Noni's head are still about getting married, although often that's only a means to a more important end—dancing. There are special outfits to be worn for getting married, for dancing, for the day before one will be married, etc. But amid all this pretending, she has started to take her dancing very seriously. One night we were sitting around after dinner and she put on a slow song to dance to (she's known her way around the iPod for a few months now) and we could only sit in awe watching her, half wanting to laugh, half cry, but terrified to do either for fear of breaking the moment. There were dramatic sweeps of the arm, graceful spins, pointed toes, and best of all, the demeanor of the most professional ballerina lost in deeply moving material.
- Vocation: If Veronika doesn't become a ballerina, being a teacher looks like the next best candidate. She is constantly organizing, helping, correcting and teaching her brother (and when they'll have it, her friends, parents and grandparents). Sometimes Ivan is happy to be her student but when he feels like throwing off the oppressive chains, look out.
- Language: In the last few months, Veronika has been eager to learn very specific language to describe her world. Emotions must be expressed with the appropriate intensity ("I really don't want to"), comparisons should be accurate ("X is almost exactly like Y"), verbs should be precise and descriptive (Digby is "nestled up" on the sofa, as opposed to sleeping). All of this is fantastic but she's also no longer willing to repeat words without knowing what they mean and her requests for definitions are taxing her old Papa's brain. How does one describe a concept like "fair" in a way that a four-year-old can understand? How do you explain "opposite" without using the word opposite? What about the phrase "that makes sense"?
- Further Investigation: The inquisition does not stop at the dictionary. Veronika wants to know why things are the way they are. Her style is to think about things carefully on her own until she hits a roadblock, then come to us with a bombshell of a question. Some are more harmless than others. For example: "Why is Cinderella's stepmother so mean to her?" (hmm), "Why did the people want to kill Jesus?" (gulp).
Seeing all of these changes had me thinking about how Veronika is no longer a small child. About a week later, the final confirmation arrived—kindergarten orientation. She's been in preschool for two years and kindergarten will likely be the same amount of time away from home (half-day, five days a week), but the idea of my little girl being in school is somehow still hard to imagine. For her to be starting this official journey toward being able to function in the world on her own is just too much. But I don't wish to keep her small. With every passing month, things get better and better and I'm still so curious about what will happen next.
Developmental milestones aside (and in my completely objective opinion), Veronika is such a delight. She is very engaged in the world around her, always learning, listening and curious. You can spend hours on end with her, talking (real conversations!) and playing, and it rarely wears you out or gets old. She has her moments with us (her parents) occasionally, but generally she is a pretty emotionally balanced and mature kid. She gets along very well with most people, makes friends easily and is considerate of their feelings. She loves her little brother and is a great big sister to him. The only regular source of conflict between them is her trying to do too much for him and him wanting some independence. She is caring and quick with smiles and affection. Every hour I spend with her and everything new I see reminds me how lucky I am to have her in my life.
Posted by papa at 09:55 PM