June 18, 2009: Kindergarten Graduation: She's five going on 26.

There wasn't really a graduation, which is actually fine by my. I'm not a fan of making a huge deal of things that really aren't. From a purely personal perspective this whole year has been a milestone of sorts. For her as well as for me. With Veronika everything is a first for me and so every step she makes towards being an independent person is astonishing to me.

(She typed the text on the computer)

This year Veronika learned how to read and write and with that came a new level of self-expression and freedom. Several relatives have benefitted from her new acquired capability to write cards and letters, even I have received notes. She has labeled things and created things (tickets, menus...) and we have had the joy to see her personality revealed on a new level through a new medium. I have caught her numerous times absorbed by rereading a favorite book and walked away happy and confused. "She's reading by herself for fun! How wonderful!" and then; "She's reading a book? WHAT?! My own child?"

She has done wonderfully in her first school year. Her first teacher left in February to have a baby and her second teacher finished the school year. Both of them had only praise for Veronika and I heard these phrases repeatedly "A joy to have in class!", "Never any trouble!" and "If every student was like her..." I don't care if this sounds like bragging, because it's not. It is very much needed feedback for me. I have to say one of my top fears is to raise a child who is not very likable and one of my top goals is to raise a child that is a joy to be around. However since I'll always find my children a joy to be around (generally speaking of course), it's hard to gauge if things are going well until they have to spend a significant time of the day with other people.

Her report cards have been very positive too. She seems to do particularly well in reading, math and music, which I know are things she also enjoys the most. I was surprised a child so young could get excited about addition and occasionally multiplication. I have to be very careful to not kill this curiosity. I was not a math genius myself but enjoyed it except for the times I was terrified of it. The fear was unwarranted but who knows it might show itself in one of those uglier parenting moments.

Veronika likes school, except when she needs to get up in the morning. I was surprised this feeling starts so early. Poor kid. She made friends and loved riding on the bus. I hope this continues.

(These lists were written by the children themselves, they could not ask for help with spelling)

This year she also started going to regular dance classes. She absolutely took to it and does well for her age. As far as I can tell. It was bittersweet dropping her off the first time. I love dance but have put it in hold in the last few years and here is my child off to her dance class before I even had the chance to pick it up again. I'm excited that she loves it. Maybe it will be something we can share in the future. Maybe not, which is ok with me. I hope I will be able to give her the right amount of support so that she never feels pressured nor let down. The first recital provided weeks of excitement. She practiced at home so much that even now Ivan will occasionally do some kind of thing with his leg and call it a "shuffle-step". She did great for her level. (There is a video of the recital on the links page - it's pretty big, so might take a while to download. I might have to take it down eventually.) There is a lot of gazing around trying to pick up the steps from the other kids and occasional confusion, which is typical for that age. But you can see she is never deterred or feeling lost. I was amazed at her complete lack of self-consciousness. It's good to be five sometimes. It also reminds me how ultimately so many things depend solely on our attitude.

Ivan is still her number one playmate and companion. I know she sometimes longs for a sister but if there has ever been a willing replacement to don a dress, a tiara and a magic wand, Ivan is it. She can annoy him mercilessly just as a big sister should, but when we find ourselves at a store picking out a piece of candy or a souvenir, at the Kindergarten Zoo trip for example, she immediately asks if she can pick something out for Ivan and then thoughtfully looks at things he might like. This makes me incredibly happy, especially when it is all her idea and motivation. The best thing after loving your children is watching them love each other.

I suppose what amazes me the most about Veronika is her maturity. Not that she's not acting like a five-year-old, she is, but the ability to follow through on things she's learned and fit herself in with others is a wonderful revelation to me. Maybe this is a normal thing that happens with kids this age, but I reserve the right as a mother to consider this a marvelous and unique development. I could not be more excited to see more of who she is in the future.