April 13, 2008: The Real World

Veronika is all about realistic things lately—playing real games, describing the world accurately, questioning everything she's been told to understand why things are the way they are, etc. For example:

• Games: Even since Christmas, Veronika's been a card shark. Her repertoire includes Go Fish, Crazy Eights, Old Maid and Memory. She loves many kind of challenging games but these are especially great because her four-year-old mind, spacious and absorbent as it is, is well-suited to puzzles like this. Whereas the thirty- to fifty-year-old minds she plays against, intransigent and full of useless information like images of the 1989 Brewers' Topps baseball cards and Tommy Boy quotes, are ill-equipped for such a challenge. In other words, she can win and she likes it. She's not a gloater though and often wants to play long enough for everyone to get a chance to win.
• Make Believe: Most of the pretend scenarios in Noni's head are still about getting married, although often that's only a means to a more important end—dancing. There are special outfits to be worn for getting married, for dancing, for the day before one will be married, etc. But amid all this pretending, she has started to take her dancing very seriously. One night we were sitting around after dinner and she put on a slow song to dance to (she's known her way around the iPod for a few months now) and we could only sit in awe watching her, half wanting to laugh, half cry, but terrified to do either for fear of breaking the moment. There were dramatic sweeps of the arm, graceful spins, pointed toes, and best of all, the demeanor of the most professional ballerina lost in deeply moving material.
• Vocation: If Veronika doesn't become a ballerina, being a teacher looks like the next best candidate. She is constantly organizing, helping, correcting and teaching her brother (and when they'll have it, her friends, parents and grandparents). Sometimes Ivan is happy to be her student but when he feels like throwing off the oppressive chains, look out.
• Language: In the last few months, Veronika has been eager to learn very specific language to describe her world. Emotions must be expressed with the appropriate intensity ("I really don't want to"), comparisons should be accurate ("X is almost exactly like Y"), verbs should be precise and descriptive (Digby is "nestled up" on the sofa, as opposed to sleeping). All of this is fantastic but she's also no longer willing to repeat words without knowing what they mean and her requests for definitions are taxing her old Papa's brain. How does one describe a concept like "fair" in a way that a four-year-old can understand? How do you explain "opposite" without using the word opposite? What about the phrase "that makes sense"?
• Further Investigation: The inquisition does not stop at the dictionary. Veronika wants to know why things are the way they are. Her style is to think about things carefully on her own until she hits a roadblock, then come to us with a bombshell of a question. Some are more harmless than others. For example: "Why is Cinderella's stepmother so mean to her?" (hmm), "Why did the people want to kill Jesus?" (gulp).

Seeing all of these changes had me thinking about how Veronika is no longer a small child. About a week later, the final confirmation arrived—kindergarten orientation. She's been in preschool for two years and kindergarten will likely be the same amount of time away from home (half-day, five days a week), but the idea of my little girl being in school is somehow still hard to imagine. For her to be starting this official journey toward being able to function in the world on her own is just too much. But I don't wish to keep her small. With every passing month, things get better and better and I'm still so curious about what will happen next.

Developmental milestones aside (and in my completely objective opinion), Veronika is such a delight. She is very engaged in the world around her, always learning, listening and curious. You can spend hours on end with her, talking (real conversations!) and playing, and it rarely wears you out or gets old. She has her moments with us (her parents) occasionally, but generally she is a pretty emotionally balanced and mature kid. She gets along very well with most people, makes friends easily and is considerate of their feelings. She loves her little brother and is a great big sister to him. The only regular source of conflict between them is her trying to do too much for him and him wanting some independence. She is caring and quick with smiles and affection. Every hour I spend with her and everything new I see reminds me how lucky I am to have her in my life.