December 6, 2007: (Reluctant) Dancing Queen

Veronika attended a pre-ballet class for three and four-year-olds this fall. She had a great time and I would've signed her up for the next session but the class is on Thursdays at 12.30pm, basically an hour after she gets out of preschool and it's just not enough time to get ready in peace. I dreaded Thursdays because Veronika is four and not fast and I'd have to constantly hurry her with lunch and changing and then Ivan had to come along and he would refuse to cooperate half the time because it was his naptime... and anyway. I will wait until fall when she is five and enroll her in another school (this was a class at the Bethel Municipal Center), hopefully with better hours.

For the last class the parents were invited to come and watch and take pictures. I was very excited about this, but Veronika was not. So much so that she was crying on the way there saying "Mama, I don't want you to watch me..." This is not news to me, she usually freezes even in very informal preschool activities, just because I'm there. I realize this is emotionally just too much for her, but then again I was not going to give up on my only opportunity to see what she was actually doing for two months every Thursday. I thought I had calmed her down enough, but when we finally arrived (late of course) and I ushered her in to join the the group (and parked Ivan in a stroller, handed him some pretzels, whipped out my camera, attached my flash... do you see what I mean? This is a lot of work. I'm pregnant. I can't do this.) she made a few movements but then dissolved in tears begging me to leave... Then we went outside and I negotiated and negotiated and finally she said I could watch if I stayed by the door (behind the wall) where she wouldn't see me. I did that at first, but then crawled slowly down behind Ivan's stroller and while her teacher took her by the hand and helped her join everyone I managed to emerge from my hiding place and snap pictures here and there. She kept checking on me at first and I would try to duck every time... which eventually she found funny and luckily half way through she was not concerned about me watching anymore.

I managed to take a bunch of pictures, although I realized it is so very hard to do. The ceilings were high and apparently you have to position the flash differently than usual, so lots of the pictures are blurry. Also, I could not anticipate which direction the girls were going to go and when and so I missed a lot. Overall the pictures are not exciting, but I love how some of them captured her expression (very focused, very much in-the-moment) and some of her movements. It's so much fun watching your child being completely immersed in an activity. I was very glad to see that, because it means the class was the right amount of challenge and fun and she got the right thing out of it... At this stage I don't consider "success" or talent so important when it comes to artistic or physical activities, or "how far is she going to go?" but more whether she found herself positively absorbed - relaxed and with no stress, but with sufficient challenge to gain some confidence.

Anyway, here is the whole photoset: Veronika's dance class

(There was no requirement for the color of leotard and I was going to buy her a pink one, but they were all sold out by the time I started looking. So at first it felt like she was "different" but in the end I liked the way she stood out. I also didn't get any tutus and frills, I'm not so fond of that at this stage. For dress-up play fine, but for class... I don't know. It's too much. They're just kids learning, it shouldn't be about the costume.)