August 23, 2007: Four and More

Veronika is four years old and her life is all about the continuous geyser of ideas in her head competing to find expression, mostly through talking and pretending. The pediatrician tells us that's why it's not unusual that she "stutters" now, because there's so much happening in her head that her mouth can't satisfactorily keep up. She has been a serious talker for some time now and when her ability to speak doesn't cooperate, it can be a frustrating conversation for all parties.

Veronika: Papa?
Papa: Yes?
Veronika (more loudly and deliberately with each repetition): I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm a little baby and... (starting over) I'm... I'm... I'm a newborn baby and my name is... (starting over again) I'm... I'm... I'm... little Noni baby newborn.

It's not always this pronounced and it comes and goes according to a number of factors, mainly her level of emotional excitement. For those of you that are reading this and not able to speak to her, it's also important to know that the volume of her speech varies similarly. When she gets excited, she doesn't yell but talks loud enough to make you wonder if she has a hearing problem or a voice immodulation disorder. When her good friend The Dude came to visit a few weekends back, she went downstairs to greet him with some friendly conversation and he brought her up the stairs and said, "Wow, she got loud." The next weekend we were on vacation in Rhode Island and eating our continental breakfast in a quiet room of the hotel when Noni started to tell a story loud enough for all guests to hear: "Yesterday, at the hotel..." When we responded with some hurried shushes, a man at another table said he'd like to hear the end of the story.

And does she ever have a lot to talk about. She loves to tell stories, about what happened earlier in the day or the week before or the last time she visited Grandma, about what predicaments Thomas and his friends got into in today's episode, about what happened with her friends or at preschool. What's really emerged in the last few months though has been her fascination with pretending to be someone (or something) else. Her favorites characters are Meow Meow the Cat, Rebecca the Teacher, a little baby (usually Baby Elena lately) and a mama. Apart from the cat, these are all drawn from the people closest to her in her life, so it makes sense, but I think I find her mama character most interesting. She has three children (dolls) so far, in order from oldest to youngest: Maya (Mama's suggestion), Elena (my suggestion) and Stella (her friend's baby sister's name). Each of them needs to be fed (by spoon, bottle, even nursing (!)), put to sleep and played with. We have even been privileged enough to see some of these children born, some multiple times. This usually consists of Veronika lying down in her bed under the covers, putting the doll under her shirt, and a little waiting... then the baby is born! One time Maya was born three times between dinner and bedtime. She is such a dedicated mother.

Last weekend we went camping, just Veronika and me. I wanted her to be able to go as a young child like I did but Ivan's not really old enough (in our estimation) to go yet, so I decided to make it a special father/daughter weekend, some time with me where she doesn't have to compete with Ivan for attention. (It will surprise no one to learn that I now hope to have a special weekend every summer with every child we have, but that may become untenable as we near ten. Dinka is not laughing.) We had a lot of fun: weathering a tent-shaking storm on the first night, riding bikes, swimming, making s'mores, etc. She was very into all camping-related tasks, what needs to be done and when and how she could help. The most surprising thing about the trip, which I didn't even appreciate until we got back, was that there was no crying, no ecstatic jumping, nothing on either end of the spectrum for two days, just a lot of even, relaxed fun. Of course there was laughing and talking and plenty of pretending, it was not sedate fun, but I took this change as a sign that she was able to relax and be herself, to let go of whatever normally troubles her. And that is exactly what I was hoping for.

If you'd like to hear more about this, feel free to give her a call. Just be prepared to hold the phone away from your ear.