January 21, 2010: Where the wild thing is
I've put off writing about Nikola... not on purpose, but it sort of happened. This is the thing, he is not like the other two. He is the type of toddler that checks off all the behaviors on the charts. Behaviors like "curious" and "active" and "constantly exploring". It is truly what he is doing, but it translates into constant running, pushing buttons, climbing, and screaming! Lots of screaming! Mostly when he can't do all the running, pushing and climbing. I am that mother in the restaurant, at the library, at the doctor's, in the store, at randompublicplace, with the screaming child, writhing and kicking and yes, screaming. Wherever we go, Nikola has to be... managed. He doesn't really go with anything. If I can, I use a carrier and put him on my back. It is the only really good way of being somewhere with him because I get to do whatever I am there for and he gets to stay in one piece. That doesn't mean he won't start wailing at some point because he is so restrained. But probably 9 out of 10 times I'll take the screaming over the running away. I don't know how the rest of the people feel about it and I wish I had a sign taped to myself that explains the situation... something like "I know he is screaming but he would only stop if I let him do what he wants, which is run around this place and touch everything and then you couldn't do your job and neither could I do what I came here for, so this little bit of screaming is not so bad, it'll be over soon and you'll forget about it. If it's ok with you, you can look away so that I don't feel so terribly selfconscious. This is standard toddler behavior, by the way, you can look it up. Totally normal. Has nothing to do with me. I have two other kids who were pretty tame at this stage compared to him, so I know it's not my fault. You can stop staring now." Yeah, something like that. It would be a pretty long sign. Just long enough for me to finish up and run.
He is 20 months old. He likes running the best. It's his favorite. He calls it "woking" and asks for it every time we leave the car. He likes it so much that if I set him down in the garage, he will circle the car in giddy excitement over and over again while I fake-leave at least 5 times (that means I announce I'm going upstairs, I close the door and wait for him to figure it out and come crying) and he is not bothered by it in the least. I eventually open the door and find him still running in circles... "quick! quick!" or "wook! woking! wook!" It's adorable, I can't lie. He is just so into it. But eventually I have to pick him up and he will start screaming and turning his body into one straight line. Every time. And I will drag him up the stairs, by his body, then his elbows, and by the time we are on the top of the stairs I will barely hold on to his one wrist and then deposit him on the carpet like a teenager shoves his backpack, only more gentle. Because I love him. There he will continue writhing and kicking for a while and when he's bored with it, will move on to something else. In the meantime, I've lost 500 calories. Forget about lifting weights. Calm, rigid, inert pounds... anyone can do THAT.
But ANYWAY, Nikola is actually the perfectly adorable child. He says hi to everyone he sees. It's a lot of fun to be along for that. People smile at you, their faces relax... it's nice. He is a barrel of laughs. He fake-cries and fake-smiles.. .depending on what's needed. One of his favorite role plays is to come over with his Lego Thomas The Train apart and make a scrunched crying face and say: "boken.. uh uh uh". And when he's screamed just a tiny bit too much again and I give him a look he gives me this hammy smile, showing his perfect little teeth. This is what I picture him when he's 16: Daredevil, fast, smart, chick magnet, irresistible and - sweaty. What he's not going to be: indecisive, slow, bored or clean.
After having used "ja" for the longest time, he's now picked up "yep" from Noni. It's yep to everything. Except when it's NOOOO, which is most of the time. He can also be strangely cooperative at times. I'd try to put him in the high chair and he'd wiggle and scream but if I explain that he will get cocoa/cookie/whateverhelikestoeat he will look at the chair and say "OK" and let me put him in without a fight. This is rare. Which is why I had to write it down.
He has really started to repeat a lot of stuff so that occasionally we can have short conversations like this:
Nikola brings the Toy Story DVD: "Tory! Tory"
Me: I know! It's Woody and Buzz!
Nikola: Aaaaah... anayooooon! (= "To infinity and beyooond!")
He has also started to replace "tanks" (Thanks) with "weh-come" which also creates funny situations. Today I was walking up the stairs at preschool with him, while several parents were waiting on top (we were too wide for them to pass us by). Once on top I said to everyone "Thank you!" and Nikola answered loudly "WEHCOME!" Everyone chuckled. See, lots of smiling faces all around.
It's hard not to be infected by his exuberant energy. Except when he's screaming and hitting me. Then it's pretty easy. I know the frustrating parts of him have a positive source. I like that he is who he his. I'm not worried about him finding his way in life at all. It's like he's always known where he's going even if he's confused. He is so self-assured and adamant. I love it. Also, i hate it. There, that's Nikola in a nutshell.
Posted by mama at 09:18 PM