May 25, 2009: Turning the Corner
Nikola is one year old now and I can safely say that I spent less time with him in his first year than with Veronika or Ivan. This is what everyone warns parents of multiple children against, that subsequent children will get less attention, have fewer photos taken of them, or some other subtle variation of being "less loved." On the picture front, we do ok and he certainly gets a lot of attention from his mother and siblings but less from his father. There are reasons for this, some of which are my fault (work), some that are his (mama's boy, preference for a 6 p.m. bedtime) and the rest of which belong to the circumstances of our family right now. We have three kids shy of first grade and for most of the year our extended family is far away so we've been in survival mode. With the other kids, we made a concerted effort to get them used to me as part of their bedtime routine so Mama could have a break or go to work or the YMCA; with Nikola, we tried a few times but never really followed through. After all, if I put him to bed, there would still be two other kids for Mama to put to bed, so why bother? We were also generally exhausted enough that leaving the house usually looked like a weak alternative to crashing on the couch. Same with bath time—three in the tub is possible but gets crowded quickly, so we usually divided and conquered. When it came to dividing up the responsibilities (at bath time, on weekends, most of the time), it was also easier to let Nikola go with his one true love (Mama) and to leave me to wrangle to other two. So these are my regrets, but I don't feel like I could have done much about any of them without some additional capacity or strength that I didn't have.
I believe that these times are coming to an end. Nikola is no longer nursing, has been walking for a month and although he's not yet talking, he's starting to communicate by means other than the original ear-piercing shriek (making signs for "more" or "done", nodding his head). Once they can take a bottle, walk and communicate, it's prime time for me to take over and Mama to leave the nest, which is exactly what happened on Mother's Day when Mama was gone for nine hours, childless in the big city, while I stayed home and googled "how to clean urine from a mattress" and washed vomit from crib sheets (stories for another day!). He's also happy to stay with Baka, even for bedtime, and our babysitter.
Nikola's favorite pastime, bar none, is hassling Digby. Digby, in turn, is increasingly bothered by children hassling him. At a typical Souzek dinner, Nikola will finish early and be taken out of his high chair to wander around. About a minute later, we'll hear a growling from the far corner of the living room—Digby's warning that he doesn't want to be messed with—and find Nikola standing about a foot away, a wide-eyed look on his face, curious to see what this funny, grumpy animal will do next. Someone will get up and move Nikola (bringing on an eruption of barks from Digby) and the same scene will repeat every five minutes or so until we get fed up and decide that we've had enough dinner. He also has a curious obsession with Digby's water and food bowls (both he and Digby run over there when they hear the food hitting the metal bowl) and on a few occasions we've pulled a few bits of small-bite Science Diet from his mouth.
If the dog's not available, the home entertainment center is a good alternative, not as growly but with many more buttons, sights and sounds. He doesn't clear shelves and make messes quite like Ivan did, but he does like to play in the kitchen and DVD cabinets when we don't have them locked. Other things he like to eat: tissues, sand, the wood chips from the park, anything he finds on the ground in a parking lot.
He's still a sweet kid, though, and very cute. He can clap his hands now. He has a fake laugh. He likes to be chased by growling lions. He likes to wrinkle up his face and make people laugh. He gives lots of kisses. He has terrific curls in the back of his hair. Now that he's beginning to talk, I'm so curious to learn more about his personality. And I'm looking forward to a much better second year than the first.
Posted by papa at 11:42 AM