http://souzek.com/ivan/ Ivan Joseph Souzek en-us lincoln@souzek.com 2010-09-05T16:09:04-05:00 hourly 1 2000-01-01T12:00+00:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2010_09_05_on_the_eve_of_kindergarten.php Ivan starts Kindergarten in Vienna tomorrow. In Austria, Kindergarten is kind of a combination of the preschool and kindergarten years in the U.S. (3 - 5), with the first year of elementary school starting with first grade at 6. The church nearest our house has a parish Kindergarten and they happened to have one spot open for this fall, so Ivan will be able to walk to school (we found out later that we were extremely lucky to get in, because private Kindergartens usually have long waiting lists and don't accept latecomers). He's very excited about the first day of school and even picked out a special outfit for the first day that none of us were allowed to see. He's mentioned a few times that he's worried about not being able to speak German well enough but it doesn't seem to be dampening his excitement too much, which is a huge relief for me. Ivan was generally optimistic about moving to Austria but he didn't seem to completely understand what it meant (I'm not sure I did either, to be fair). He has dealt with the whole summer of packing and moving and adjusting to new places very well, though. He finds things to be excited about wherever he is (baseball, trains, parks, swimming pools) instead of thinking about things he's missing. To spend a day alone with Ivan is to be kissed and hugged more than you ever have been in your life. He is a warm and affectionate kid, there's no getting around it. If you're walking with him, he'll probably take your hand. If you're watching a movie with him, he'll probably sit right next to you and put your arm around him. And if you're lucky enough to sit next to him at dinner or in church, he might just kiss your hand or shoulder about 35 times. There's nothing quite like being met at the door with a big Ivan smile and welcome hug though. He's also a very busy kid and loves to do things with another person but not always with more than one, which is becoming challenging in a family of five. Over the winter, he kept himself busy mostly by dressing up as various superheros and movie characters (guess who's coming to dinner? Buzz Lightyear!), putting together jigsaw puzzles and playing puzzle games, and battling me to the death, repeatedly. After summer arrived, it was nothing but baseball, swimming and playing at the park on his mind. All of those activities are great to do with Mama, Papa, and Noni, but not so much with his little brother. Nikola and Ivan have had a rocky relationship from the beginning and it's not hard to see why. Nikola is good at bothering his big brother and Ivan is very sensitive to his bothering. I know, they're brothers, I can completely empathize but I do wish for the day when they'll actually be able and willing to play together. In our new apartment, the boys are sharing a room together and Veronika will have her own room, so we'll see how that changes things. At first, I think Ivan felt snubbed to be lumped with Nikola instead of Veronika (like he was in our last place) but there are moments when he does enjoy being a big brother, especially when Veronika's not around. On a recent rainy walk to their cousins' house, Ivan held the umbrella over Nikola's head the whole way and carefully guided him along the sidewalk. Ivan remains a very sensitive and emotional kid, which is very sweet to see. I have to catch myself lots of times from smiling at him at inappropriate times (like when he's crying about something) because he really doesn't like his emotions to be belittled (not that that's what I'm doing, but still). He has his feelings hurt more easily than Veronika and is more prone to emotional overreactions as well, which pairs up nicely with his stubbornness for some interesting situations. When something doesn't go his way and he's not in a good state to accept it, his usual recourse is try to assert some kind of control over the situation, either by making a wild statement about what will NEVER EVER happen again in the future or by taking some other action to remind us that he's still a free person. My all-time favorite example of this was when we were walking somewhere and we told him that some of his plans weren't going to work out like he had hoped, so he announced, "Well, I'm just walking backwards!" And so he did. That was a long time ago though. When we leave for Kindergarten in the morning, I'm sure he'll be walking forwards. 3087@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2010-09-05T16:09:04-05:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2010_02_10_ivanisms.php I've been wanting to write about Ivan's wit and just a funny way with words, but I never seem to know how to describe it really. So far he is the one kid that always seems to come up with something new to say or something to say in a new way. It's how his brain works. Instead of trying to explain this I'm just going to try to write down examples... While fighting with Noni he looks up to me and cries: "Mama! Noni is breaking.. she is breaking she is breaking my feelings!" *** Ivan says to me: "I'm going to go find a new mama." Me: Really? What's her name going to be? Ivan: (With an expression of "duh"): Mama, of course! Me: Duh. Sorry. Ivan: She's going to let everyone do whateeeeever they want! .... Except! Be mean to someone! *** Ivan (singing): Oh Tannenbaum, oh Tannenbaum, wie gruen sind deine... Mama? How do you say "Wie gruen sind deine blaetter in English?" Me (thinking he means English lyrics): You know, I don't know how that song goes in English. Ivan: Oh Christmastree ... how green are your branches? (So smart, my boy!) *** Ivan (looking at the American flag at half-mast at Stew Leonards): Mama, look! The flag is down. Somebody died. Who died? Me: I don't know. Ivan: Maybe Deda? Me (avoiding the explanation that Stew Leonard's doesn't lower the flag for every death in the world): No, not Deda, he died long ago. Also, he wasn't in America. Ivan: Hm... maybe it was Captain America, who died. 2802@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2010-02-10T19:58:53-05:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2009_11_04_preschool_love.php There's a little girl in Ivan's class that Ivan seems to be particularly fond of. He told me that himself. Well, sort of. A few weeks ago I was chatting with him about who he likes to play with in preschool and who his friends were and he told me he played with boys but also there was one girl: Bianca. I asked him what they played together and Ivan paused a little: "I don't weally play wif huh.", he said. I've seen this girl before, actually years before, because her older brother was in Veronika's preschool class. She is the cutest little thing. Dark long hair, a bit curly, perfectly shaped little face, loooong eyelashes and a personality between feisty and sweet. At the preschool field trip I asked Ivan if he'd like me to take a picture of the two. He was very enthusiastic. She less so. She was so shy, she wouldn't look at me, and so I ended up with a photo of two kids, about half a yard apart, each looking somewhere else. A few days after that Bianca came up again and I asked Ivan if he played with her.. and he said: "No, I don't weally play wif huh. I jus' take picturs wif huh." Oh, sweet little boy, that is too much. Lincoln's face when I told him the story seemed to immediately reveal all the sadness and agony of loves unrequited in years prior: "Poor guy." was all he could managed to say. Today while dropping Ivan off at school I catch him and Bianca awkwardly saying hi to each other in the classroom. Bianca, with her pretty summer dress (albeit over pants and a long-sleeve-shirt, - telling a story of how she probably insisted on a summery dress while her mother insisted on weather-appropriate clothing. I'm telling you, sweet and feisty.) gave him a smile and he returned it with the most adorable mix of shyness and absolute adoration on his face. He even waved a tiny wave. After that he came over to me to say goodbye. In the meantime Bianca passed us by and I said: "Look, there's your friend!" (BAD mother, I know, I swear I will never embarass him like this when he's older. I do, I swear!) And Ivan looked up and saw her and just erupted in a giggle unable to say anything. On the way home after preschool I tell him: "Did you play with Bianca?" "No." "Maybe you are a little shy? Sometimes when you like someone a lot, you get a little shy around them..." "YES! I do! I get vewy shy because I like Bianca." "I know, baby." "Mama, do you fink Noni got vewy shy when she was wittle and she loved someone vewy vwey much?" Vewy vewy much? This boy...! My heart exploded into a million little sparkly sparks. I know he will grow up and these moments will be gone but I am so grateful to have witnessed this. And of course, I promise, I will never ever pry and meddle ever. Ever. I will just bury this innocent revelation deep deep in my memory and pull it out secretly once in a while and look at it and sigh and hug him in my mind. 2729@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2009-11-04T13:22:04-05:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2009_10_21_tons_of_fun.php 2711@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2009-10-21T21:50:41-05:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2009_03_29_three.php Last Sunday, Ivan turned three years old. We celebrated it with a baseball themed party, including baseball cake, baseball pinata, baseball games, baseball hats, baseball napkins... There was really no other way to do this. Ivan is nuts about baseball. The sight of a baseball alone will raise his adrenalin. I'm his mother, I know. At this age birthdays are the best opportunity to make your child smile for hours on end and I will take advantage of it to the fullest. We decorated the living room with balloons and streamers in Mets colors, which completely amazed both kids. We attached a baseball tossing game to the wall and presented him with a baseball pinata... the more excited Ivan got, the more serious and focused he became. It was so funny to watch... as if he just couldn't deal with the nuisance of emotions, there was work to be done! Whacking the pinata! Throwing the baseball! Admiring the napkins! You could tell he was in a different world, there was no time for laughing and silliness. We had invited only adults (Tim & Katie, James & Jill), because they had known Ivan for a while (and he them) and all the little boys his age Ivan had met so far he usually didn't enjoy playing with. (Growing up with a reasonable big sister will make you wise beyond your age.) We just didn't want to overwhelm him with rowdy kids on a day that was supposed to be just about him. I'm really glad we stuck to that especially after seeing how completely emotionally absorbed he was. Click here for the whole birthday photo set I had made him a baseball cake, which turned out pretty good despite my complete lack of confidence while making it. Fortunately there is always Wilton with its cake toppers... It worked out perfectly, since green is currently Ivan's favorite color. The second theme of the day was "Cars" and Lightning Mcqueen. I've lost count of the number of Cars-themed presents. He was tearing through the first few, but we left a bunch of them for until after the party. It took him all day. You can tell when he is about to open the present he is absolutely in that moment. After Christmas and now after his birthday he keeps talking about "opening more presents". I know that as much as he loves the gifts, it's the moment of opening them - the combination of savoring feeling special and anticipating the surprise - he really lives for. We decided to get him a (Cars) bike, so that he could start keeping up with Noni this summer. He was excited to see the bike, but quickly abandoned it after a 2-minute-test-ride. It's tough to go from a trike to a bike. I have no doubt he will take to it eventually. Every birthday I come to realize (again) how lucky I am. I am overcome by such a feeling of gratitude and amazement that these kids are here and I get to know them from scratch. There is nothing sappy or contrived about it... on his birthday, it's me who gets to keep the biggest gift. 2461@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2009-03-29T13:36:49-05:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2009_03_07_ivan_reads_mater_and_the_ghostlight.php He can't read, but if he loves it, he'll remember it. His favorite part is the end "The screaming whatttt???" Ivan reads Mater and the Ghostlight from Dinka Souzek on Vimeo. 2436@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2009-03-07T11:34:34-05:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2009_02_15_christmas_songs.php Better late than never, here's Ivan and Veronika singing three of their favorite Christmas songs: Santa Claus is Coming to Town Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer We Wish You a Merry Christmas 2410@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2009-02-15T12:37:54-05:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2008_12_09_the_big_brother.php Ivan is funny. I don't know what goes on in this boy's head or at least how it all comes together but he cracks us up every day. All the amount of words he knows (I'm convinced Veronika is responsible for at least half of it) combined with his toddlerish way of talking (caws/cars, wightnin ma'keen/lightning macqueen, sweepy/sleepy etc) make for wonderful daily commentary. I keep wanting to write them down and I forget. Like I wrote somewhere else... my life is crazy. He is still very sweet and cuddly and affectionate. The other day he leaned over to give Baka a hug during lunch (hugging during lunch is a favorite) and as he put his head in her lap he closed his eyes and cooed: "nice friends!". He adores Nikola ("Is Niki-Piki awake? I WUV Niki-Piki!"). As often as he can he will come over and lie by him and kiss his head and take his face into his hands... Ivan is full of stuff like that, his emotions just overflow. The same goes for crying. He is easier to calm down than Veronika but has also developed some funny techniques. Every time he is done "cwyin' " he needs to "wipe my teaws on your shuwt, mama". If I'm not available it has to be Hasi (a little bunny attached to a blanket). He takes Hasi's head with both hands and wipes repeatedly one eye over and over and then declares something like: "I'm ok! I'm happy now!" He also shows a lot of empathy. One time when we were playing baseball on the computer (miniclip.com) and as we were losing I said something to the effect. He noticed the disappointment in my voice, turned around and hugged me: It's ok! I love you, mama! Besides eating and sleeping Ivan does mostly two things: draw baseballs (circle-like things with two stripes in the middle) and play pretend baseball. In pretend baseball he is the batter, almost always. He takes the stance and makes a scary focused face while me (or whoever he managed to grab) pitches the ball. He then swings the imaginary bat (sometimes it's a pencil, which he is not allowed to use really... we've had a lot of debates about this) and then proclaims "strike one!" or "home run!" or "foul ball!" and then depending on what it was runs while I have to pretend to be catching the ball and then tagging him with it. I've learned more about baseball than I ever wanted to know (= which was nothing I have to admit) and I still don't know most of it, but I'm good enough to play pretend baseball. Ivan is obsessed with it. Whenever we are waiting for something or he isn't immersed in some other activity, he will almost involuntarily assume the batter stance, make the face.. etc. It's a riot to watch for everyone who is not completely used to it by now. At least once a day he asks us if we can go to the new stadium (Citifield) and that he wants to run the bases. He still hasn't forgotten the day he met Mr. Met and dreams of a reunion all the time. I know I'm the mother and all, but I find him to be very smart and very coordinated for his age. He hasn't had an potty accidents in months, he recognizes some numbers and letters (Veronika's influence), he draws recognizable faces and he is verbally very good. Too good sometimes. He uses very little German, although he understands it perfectly. Occasionally he will repeat something and crack me up, like yesterday: - Ivan, magst du ein bisschen Birne? (Ivan, would you like some pear?) - No, mama, some baseball play-uhs don't need any BIENE!! (Biene=bees) His favorite song is still "Take me out to the ballgame". I downloaded it from ITunes and he will belt out this song on top his lungs with such devotion and excitement that you think his heart will jump out of his throat. It's abslutely hilarious to watch... over and over. (Video coming up). Veronika has also taught him some church hymns she picked up while accompanying Lincoln when he goes to play for the kids at church and so you will find Ivan walking around the living room singing loudly "Hawewuya, Hawewuya, listen to Jesus, do what he tews you, open yo' hawts todaaaaaaay!" Before he knew the exact lyrics it went like this: "Hawewuya... listen to Jesus.. he... has.. somefin... to say!" Ivan and Veronika are still best buddies. He is a docile follower, but not without his own mind. He will do what she says when he wants to, but if he doesn't, it will drive Veronika crazy. She then will try to discipline, coerce or annoy him into obeying her which in turn makes him scream and screech and then demonstratively hit her while yelling out in this stern and loud voice: "NO! You a-uh (=are) a BAD BOY!" It is the insult of insults. Then Veronika will run to me and gladly tell on him (He called me a BAD BOY!). It's the same every day, but as soon as Ivan isn't home for a couple of hours, she will ask me: "When is Ivan coming home?" It's love. I could go on and on. I am a fan. 2332@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2008-12-09T11:35:01-05:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2008_09_15_two_point_five.php 2236@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2008-09-15T21:14:34-05:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2008_08_16_fulfilling_his_duties_as_the_annoying_younger_brother.php This is a daily conversation at lunch. Daily, without fail. (Lunch is almost over) Ivan looks at Veronika and says: I! Have! A tummyHACHE! Veronika: No, it's tummy ACHE, not H-ache. Ivan: Tummy... HACHE! Veronika: No, tummy ACHE Ivan: TummyHACHE, HACHE, HACHE! Veronika: Ivan! Who's right, me or you? Ivan: ME! Veronika: NO! Me! Ivan: Me! Veronika: No! Me! etc.... 2196@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2008-08-16T11:08:20-05:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2008_06_25_things_i_shouldve_written_months_ago.php Where do I start? This kid's personality has exploded, literally. He is so different than Veronika was at this stage, he completely surprises me. Ever since he decided to talk (a few weeks before his second birthday) he has been building his vocabulary at an incredible speed. He talks and talks and talks. He repeats himself a lot, granted, but his mouth is his number one organ at this point. Unlike Veronika he mispronounces a lot, meaning he talks like you imagine a two-year-old would. Rs and Ls are Ys and he skips consonants because they are hard to say. For basket ball he'll say something that sounds like "back-a-ball". When you tell him "backaball" back he looks at you all serious and says: "NO. NOT backaball, BACK A BALL!" It's hilarious. Speaking of laughing, Ivan loves to make jokes. He is too young to really set it up very well, but he knows when to say something that totally doesn't fit and then starts to giggle... as if to say, I made a joke, did you notice? And after he's done giggling, he makes this smiley nostalgic face and says "Ivan funny!". As if to say: "Oh yes, I remember good old Ivan and his excellent sense of humor!" He loves to say "no way!" and "oh my gosh" - which he recently changed from "oh my god". I don't know where he picked up either and also who taught him the PG version of OMG, I'm suspecting the babysitter, but really who knows with Ivan? Another important thing is "by self!" (by myself), which is the standard phrase for two-year-olds and he uses it abundantly, so much that Veronika has occasionally picked it up herself. Ivan will also pick up phrases from his TV shows and use them randomly, just trying it out to see if something funny could come of it. Unchanged is still his sweetness and need to hug and kiss and give sweet and touching looks. If I sit next to him during dinner, we have to interrupt the meal several times for "big huggy" where we spend a few seconds locked in an embrace. Just so. I also still put him down for a nap this way. We read a book, he drinks his milk and then he falls asleep facing me, with his face literally half an inch away from mine, and his left arm on my shoulder and my right arm on his shoulder. Every day, without fail. Big huggy. Veronika would've never in a million years fallen asleep like this. It would've been too distracting. I'm probably more like her in that respect. I couldn't even sleep with teddy bears (although I tried repeatedly as a child, it just seemed like such a nice thing to do). It was too much to think about, I never knew what to do with this bear, holding it was keeping me awake. Not much has changed, but now I have a live little bear to hold while HE falls asleep. Much better version of the arrangement, trust me. I've also noticed him to be less stubborn than his sister and I'm not qualifying this as good or bad, but I've just noticed that usually I can take disciplinary measures down a notch, because he will give in much faster than she used to. I don't mind this, especially because his personality at the same time does not seem less forceful than hers. Tantrums are getting more frequent which is to be expected at this age and he can compete with the best as far as volume and strength is concerned. He is still hopelessly in love with balls and the respective sports. Baseball seems to be a tad more important than the rest. When we go outside he loves to kick the ball and he is really good at it for a two-year-old. He never misses and 90% of the time the ball goes exactly where he wanted it to go. Once he gets tired of this he will go look for something that qualifies as a bat (if there is no "real" bat available) and attempt to play baseball with the soccerball. Occasionally he will carry a ball or two around just for fun (or comfort). Those are his favorite items. He is still hardly interested in vehicles of any kind. Ivan also loves to dance. He has his own special (hilarious) moves, that are not very graceful, but he performs them with such passion that you will be amazed regardless. There is lots of kicking and turning and the occasionaly pose copied from Veronika's skilled ballet interpretations. The most imporant part is still his focused and serious expression, which stays on until the end of the performance. Potty training has been going very well. He insists on stripping from the waist down every time, which is terribly annoying as I either had the pregnant belly or now a baby in a carrier attached to me. If I try to dissuade him, he screams and this is a battle I'm not willing to fight right now. He is still reluctant to poop and prefers to wait until he has diapers on for that (nap and nighttime). I'm not sure what the problem is, although I know it's normal behavior for a toddler. Well, what is NOT normal for a toddler? I guess he'll get there on his own time. Ivan absolutely adores Nikola. He always wants to see him and lie by him and is in his face all the time. Literally in his face. We'll be lucky if the baby doesn't end up cross-eyed. He calls him "Nikiya" - with this super high sweet voice. It's very endearing. Especially knowing that at some point he will probably smack him with the same gusto. It's what brothers have to do, I'm told. I'm still a little nervous about raising boys, but so far Ivan has been by far better than any possible version of "having a son" I could've come up with. I can't wait for things to come. 2118@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2008-06-25T11:02:17-05:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2008_04_18_pee_in_the_potty.php First day of random potty training resulted in... four successful liquid desposits! FOUR. I credit Ivan's enthusiastic personality and his love for M&Ms. More information in a few weeks, when I'll be able to tell if this was a fluke or the beginning of end of diapers. 2052@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2008-04-18T21:02:59-05:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2008_03_03_on_the_brink_of_two.php As he approaches his second birthday, Ivan is changing at an accelerating pace and my memories of his previous phases are quickly deteriorating. Before I forget his second year entirely, here's what's been going on: - About six months ago, Ivan was really into puzzles and reading, to the point that he would want to play/read for over an hour and "express his disappointment" if you didn't have the patience or stamina to keep up. He didn't respond or interact that much but looking back on it now, it seems like he was thirsty for information to absorb and process but held back until he he was better equipped to respond. - Ivan loves his private parts! He discovered them about four months ago and learned their names ("Pee-PEE! Po-PO!") and how to point them out. After that he also enjoyed spending more time running around naked and for a while there, every diaper change was an enthusiastic presentation of his anatomy. - Around the 22-month mark, Ivan began to communicate in earnest and has been a blast ever since. He had a vocabulary of about five words for months but in the last few weeks it has been increasing exponentially. New favorite words include suppe (for his favorite food), kakao (for his favorite drink), Elmo ("EH-mo," for his favorite Sesame Street resident) and bitte. His demeanor seems to have adapted to his newfound means of expression, so generally he's more outgoing, curious and willing to try new things than ever before. When he doesn't know how to express something, he'll try anyway, with a combination of a few words, hand gestures, facial expressions and a lot of enthusiasm. For example, after he went sledding for the first time two weeks ago (which he loved, even/especially the wipeouts), he regaled us with minute-long accounts of our adventures, going something like this: (pointing out the window to the sledding hill, nodding head) "Nana (his word for Ivan), Papa....Nana, Papa, Noni....Nana, Noni, Papa...." (making a sled with his hand and simulating it going down a hill with sound effects) "Brrrrrrrrrrrrr..... (crash noise)" (again, to reiterate, nodding head) "Nana, Papa....gaga, gaga, gaga... Nana, Papa" Another of his communication combinations that we're less thrilled to see is his signal for a full diaper: (patting butt, grossed-out look on his face) "Blechhhh...." - Ivan loves to do things now and tries to do everything by himself. He will also volunteer to do anything if you ask right. "Who wants to take a bath?" "Meeeee!!" "Who wants to clean out the garage?" "Meeee!!" This response is always accompanied by a wide smile and a raised hand, a response undoubtedly learned from his faithful teacher Veronika. He also knows his routines and is excited when he knows what to do next and how he can help, by fetching a stool (to make cocoa or brush his teeth) or turning out the lights (for the clean-up time song). - Ivan is great at pretending now, including endless pretend scenarios with his sister such as being babies (needing milk, pretend crying while rubbing his eyes), cats (lots of meowing) and dogs (barking, fetching a ball in his mouth). He's also becoming quite the joker and enjoys telling me "Nooooo" when I'm pulling his leg. In summary, Ivan is exploding into a totally awesome toddler, engaged with everything around him, learning in leaps and bounds, and willing to try anything. It's so much fun to be with him at this age and it's exciting to think about what's next. 2000@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2008-03-03T23:45:05-05:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2007_12_05_oh_ivan_my_love.php MMmmmaammmaaa... maaaaammmaaa.... This sound is permanently etched in my mind. I hear it when it's there, I hear it when it's not there. Ivan loves his mother with passion, with a deep ache in his heart that makes itself known in long or short or high or low whiiines throughout the day (and sometimes the night). It's sweet to a degree and after that it's just plain annoying. I realize he will stop doing this one day, mostly when he will have to face the ridicule of his school friends, so that hope sort of keeps me going when I think I need to throw him out the window. Although somehow I think he would still be calling me and no wall could drown it out, ever. His dedication is just that thick. Like my other child, Ivan is quite strong-willed. We have a lot of conflict over food: He usually refuses to eat (except over his favorites: cottage cheese, hummus, shredded cheese - although he has recently graduated to slices, baka's strudel and chocolate in almost any form). Then we physically have to stuff a bite in his mouth, which he is furious about, but at least half the time, after he is done crying he will ask for more, because his hunger is stronger than pride and the fact is, it is delicious after all... I hate having to force him, but the success speaks for itself and besides, he needs to eat. Even if not for eating itself, he saves a lot of his energy for meal time. All the boyish traits are out: swinging on his chair, kicking something (me) with his foot, putting his feet on the table, playing with his placemat (this one drives me crazy: it's a plastic mat and he swishes it left and right, left and right and all the utensils, plates or food in its way crash to the floor), banging his food, throwing his food. There is no anger in it, just some type of impulse.... "must move when restrained!" Every entry I find myself going back to writing about his truly sweet nature. I remember I felt it when he was born, it's really something. He is helpless when overcome by his love for someone and just let's his whole face shine with it.. and of course there are lots of kisses and hugs and angelic smiles. When his emotions take over his whole being stops and he just lets it all show. Reminds me of his father that way. Ivan is a devoted brother. He still only uses a few words (mama, papa, noni, dibby, ball, nane (=banana), schaun (=watch), baum (=tannenbaum), bu(ssi)) but Noni is probably right up there with mama. When he says Noni it almost sounds like Nuni and Veronika has really taken to that and will call herself Nuni when talking to him. It's like she feels honored by the special pronunciation. In the morning Veronika or me make cocoa and then he takes the sippy cups and hands one to her and they both lie down parallel on the couch and drink it in silence. It's really something to behold... the quiet alliance, the safety in the habit. He plays his role faithfully: On one hand he is the committed follower, what Veronika suggests or does, he will do as well. He will repeat every silly sound and do what she says in role play. On the other hand he will take her things and run away with them, he will scream on top of his lungs while trying to tear something from her hands. He will annoy her and destroy her things and walk away with a triumphant, slightly guilty face. It's just how it is, how it has to be, it's the law of "little-annoying-brother"-hood. 1881@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2007-12-05T11:28:21-05:00 http://souzek.com/ivan/archives/2007_06_10_lazy_fathers_development_notebook.php 1679@http://souzek.com/ivan/ Footnotes 2007-06-10T00:18:00-05:00