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September 5, 2010: On the Eve of Kindergarten

Ivan starts Kindergarten in Vienna tomorrow. In Austria, Kindergarten is kind of a combination of the preschool and kindergarten years in the U.S. (3 - 5), with the first year of elementary school starting with first grade at 6. The church nearest our house has a parish Kindergarten and they happened to have one spot open for this fall, so Ivan will be able to walk to school (we found out later that we were extremely lucky to get in, because private Kindergartens usually have long waiting lists and don't accept latecomers). He's very excited about the first day of school and even picked out a special outfit for the first day that none of us were allowed to see. He's mentioned a few times that he's worried about not being able to speak German well enough but it doesn't seem to be dampening his excitement too much, which is a huge relief for me.

Ivan was generally optimistic about moving to Austria but he didn't seem to completely understand what it meant (I'm not sure I did either, to be fair). He has dealt with the whole summer of packing and moving and adjusting to new places very well, though. He finds things to be excited about wherever he is (baseball, trains, parks, swimming pools) instead of thinking about things he's missing.

To spend a day alone with Ivan is to be kissed and hugged more than you ever have been in your life. He is a warm and affectionate kid, there's no getting around it. If you're walking with him, he'll probably take your hand. If you're watching a movie with him, he'll probably sit right next to you and put your arm around him. And if you're lucky enough to sit next to him at dinner or in church, he might just kiss your hand or shoulder about 35 times. There's nothing quite like being met at the door with a big Ivan smile and welcome hug though.

He's also a very busy kid and loves to do things with another person but not always with more than one, which is becoming challenging in a family of five. Over the winter, he kept himself busy mostly by dressing up as various superheros and movie characters (guess who's coming to dinner? Buzz Lightyear!), putting together jigsaw puzzles and playing puzzle games, and battling me to the death, repeatedly. After summer arrived, it was nothing but baseball, swimming and playing at the park on his mind.

All of those activities are great to do with Mama, Papa, and Noni, but not so much with his little brother. Nikola and Ivan have had a rocky relationship from the beginning and it's not hard to see why. Nikola is good at bothering his big brother and Ivan is very sensitive to his bothering. I know, they're brothers, I can completely empathize but I do wish for the day when they'll actually be able and willing to play together. In our new apartment, the boys are sharing a room together and Veronika will have her own room, so we'll see how that changes things. At first, I think Ivan felt snubbed to be lumped with Nikola instead of Veronika (like he was in our last place) but there are moments when he does enjoy being a big brother, especially when Veronika's not around. On a recent rainy walk to their cousins' house, Ivan held the umbrella over Nikola's head the whole way and carefully guided him along the sidewalk.

Ivan remains a very sensitive and emotional kid, which is very sweet to see. I have to catch myself lots of times from smiling at him at inappropriate times (like when he's crying about something) because he really doesn't like his emotions to be belittled (not that that's what I'm doing, but still). He has his feelings hurt more easily than Veronika and is more prone to emotional overreactions as well, which pairs up nicely with his stubbornness for some interesting situations. When something doesn't go his way and he's not in a good state to accept it, his usual recourse is try to assert some kind of control over the situation, either by making a wild statement about what will NEVER EVER happen again in the future or by taking some other action to remind us that he's still a free person. My all-time favorite example of this was when we were walking somewhere and we told him that some of his plans weren't going to work out like he had hoped, so he announced, "Well, I'm just walking backwards!" And so he did.

That was a long time ago though. When we leave for Kindergarten in the morning, I'm sure he'll be walking forwards.


Posted by papa at 04:09 PM

February 10, 2010: Ivanisms

I've been wanting to write about Ivan's wit and just a funny way with words, but I never seem to know how to describe it really. So far he is the one kid that always seems to come up with something new to say or something to say in a new way. It's how his brain works. Instead of trying to explain this I'm just going to try to write down examples...

While fighting with Noni he looks up to me and cries: "Mama! Noni is breaking.. she is breaking she is breaking my feelings!"

***

Ivan says to me: "I'm going to go find a new mama."
Me: Really? What's her name going to be?
Ivan: (With an expression of "duh"): Mama, of course!
Me: Duh. Sorry.
Ivan: She's going to let everyone do whateeeeever they want! .... Except! Be mean to someone!

***

Ivan (singing): Oh Tannenbaum, oh Tannenbaum, wie gruen sind deine... Mama? How do you say "Wie gruen sind deine blaetter in English?"
Me (thinking he means English lyrics): You know, I don't know how that song goes in English.
Ivan: Oh Christmastree ... how green are your branches?

(So smart, my boy!)

***

Ivan (looking at the American flag at half-mast at Stew Leonards): Mama, look! The flag is down. Somebody died. Who died?
Me: I don't know.
Ivan: Maybe Deda?
Me (avoiding the explanation that Stew Leonard's doesn't lower the flag for every death in the world): No, not Deda, he died long ago. Also, he wasn't in America.
Ivan: Hm... maybe it was Captain America, who died.


Posted by mama at 07:58 PM

November 4, 2009: Preschool Love

There's a little girl in Ivan's class that Ivan seems to be particularly fond of. He told me that himself. Well, sort of. A few weeks ago I was chatting with him about who he likes to play with in preschool and who his friends were and he told me he played with boys but also there was one girl: Bianca. I asked him what they played together and Ivan paused a little: "I don't weally play wif huh.", he said.

I've seen this girl before, actually years before, because her older brother was in Veronika's preschool class. She is the cutest little thing. Dark long hair, a bit curly, perfectly shaped little face, loooong eyelashes and a personality between feisty and sweet. At the preschool field trip I asked Ivan if he'd like me to take a picture of the two. He was very enthusiastic. She less so. She was so shy, she wouldn't look at me, and so I ended up with a photo of two kids, about half a yard apart, each looking somewhere else. A few days after that Bianca came up again and I asked Ivan if he played with her.. and he said: "No, I don't weally play wif huh. I jus' take picturs wif huh."

Oh, sweet little boy, that is too much. Lincoln's face when I told him the story seemed to immediately reveal all the sadness and agony of loves unrequited in years prior: "Poor guy." was all he could managed to say.

Today while dropping Ivan off at school I catch him and Bianca awkwardly saying hi to each other in the classroom. Bianca, with her pretty summer dress (albeit over pants and a long-sleeve-shirt, - telling a story of how she probably insisted on a summery dress while her mother insisted on weather-appropriate clothing. I'm telling you, sweet and feisty.) gave him a smile and he returned it with the most adorable mix of shyness and absolute adoration on his face. He even waved a tiny wave. After that he came over to me to say goodbye. In the meantime Bianca passed us by and I said: "Look, there's your friend!" (BAD mother, I know, I swear I will never embarass him like this when he's older. I do, I swear!) And Ivan looked up and saw her and just erupted in a giggle unable to say anything.

On the way home after preschool I tell him:
"Did you play with Bianca?"
"No."
"Maybe you are a little shy? Sometimes when you like someone a lot, you get a little shy around them..."
"YES! I do! I get vewy shy because I like Bianca."
"I know, baby."
"Mama, do you fink Noni got vewy shy when she was wittle and she loved someone vewy vwey much?"

Vewy vewy much? This boy...! My heart exploded into a million little sparkly sparks. I know he will grow up and these moments will be gone but I am so grateful to have witnessed this. And of course, I promise, I will never ever pry and meddle ever. Ever. I will just bury this innocent revelation deep deep in my memory and pull it out secretly once in a while and look at it and sigh and hug him in my mind.


Posted by mama at 01:22 PM

October 21, 2009: Tons of Fun

The last couple of months have been such a fun time to be a part of Ivan's life. He just started preschool and is learning like crazy, he's into everything and he's becoming a confident, funny and very sweet boy.

To begin with, his mind is like a sponge lately. After he started preschool, we noticed that he started writing things on paper around the house, usually while Veronika was working on some of her correspondence. At first it was just his name but now he's writing the entire alphabet. He's also recognized a few words, although it's hard to say whether he's remembering them or recognizing the letters in them. His memory is scarily sharp. He quickly memorizes his favorite books and is becoming a worthy adversary at the game of memory. But the most fun application of his great memory is hearing the expressions and phrases that he picks up and repeats, in perfect pitch and context. Every day he says something that we remember and laugh about after he goes to bed, but here's a selection:

Sports continue to be a major theme in his life. If you came to our house on any given Saturday, you'd have a pretty good chance of finding him in the kitchen, playing a game of pretend baseball by himself, using an empty Aquafina bottle as a bat and rounding the living room and dining room as the bases. He regularly throws bullpen sessions in the kitchen too, windup and all, with the kitchen cabinet acting as his catcher. Soccer is also a popular indoor sport. Needless to say, many a ball has been kicked or thrown onto the kitchen counter or dining room table, or whizzed by someone's head ("Sowwy, Papa"). All his practice pays off though. Whenever he gets a chance to play sports for real outside, he does very well and is very focused. His preschool teacher even said that he's the most fun to play catch with because he can throw well enough to reach a grown-up.

His latest obsession, though, is pretend fighting, which has been aided by his recent interest in movies. His favorite movies right now are Peter Pan and Kung Fu Panda and whenever we watch them, a half-hour of pretend fighting between Captain Hook/Peter Pan or Po/Tai Lung is sure to follow. Sword-like weapons are often required, as are my repeated death and reincarnation. Sound effects and mean fighting faces abound.

With such a busy house and a brother and sister to compete with, sometimes the best way to appreciate what an awesome kid Ivan is is to have some time alone with him. In the beginning of September, I had to drive to New Jersey to drop Digby off and decided to make a day of it. As luck would have it, the Mets were in Philadelphia for the weekend so I bought tickets to the game and brought Ivan along. We had an amazing day—we saw a terrific game and a rare Mets win and then headed into Philadelphia to split a post-game cheese steak at Dalessandro's. We were both on cloud nine all day, I think. There was no whining or crying, just lots of smiling and excitement and enjoying each other's company. It was a perfect day at a perfect time and I hope we can always find time to appreciate each other like that, no matter how old we are.


Posted by papa at 09:50 PM

March 29, 2009: Three

Last Sunday, Ivan turned three years old. We celebrated it with a baseball themed party, including baseball cake, baseball pinata, baseball games, baseball hats, baseball napkins... There was really no other way to do this. Ivan is nuts about baseball. The sight of a baseball alone will raise his adrenalin. I'm his mother, I know. At this age birthdays are the best opportunity to make your child smile for hours on end and I will take advantage of it to the fullest.

We decorated the living room with balloons and streamers in Mets colors, which completely amazed both kids. We attached a baseball tossing game to the wall and presented him with a baseball pinata... the more excited Ivan got, the more serious and focused he became. It was so funny to watch... as if he just couldn't deal with the nuisance of emotions, there was work to be done! Whacking the pinata! Throwing the baseball! Admiring the napkins! You could tell he was in a different world, there was no time for laughing and silliness.

We had invited only adults (Tim & Katie, James & Jill), because they had known Ivan for a while (and he them) and all the little boys his age Ivan had met so far he usually didn't enjoy playing with. (Growing up with a reasonable big sister will make you wise beyond your age.) We just didn't want to overwhelm him with rowdy kids on a day that was supposed to be just about him. I'm really glad we stuck to that especially after seeing how completely emotionally absorbed he was.

...three!
Click here for the whole birthday photo set

I had made him a baseball cake, which turned out pretty good despite my complete lack of confidence while making it. Fortunately there is always Wilton with its cake toppers... It worked out perfectly, since green is currently Ivan's favorite color.

The second theme of the day was "Cars" and Lightning Mcqueen. I've lost count of the number of Cars-themed presents. He was tearing through the first few, but we left a bunch of them for until after the party. It took him all day. You can tell when he is about to open the present he is absolutely in that moment. After Christmas and now after his birthday he keeps talking about "opening more presents". I know that as much as he loves the gifts, it's the moment of opening them - the combination of savoring feeling special and anticipating the surprise - he really lives for.

We decided to get him a (Cars) bike, so that he could start keeping up with Noni this summer. He was excited to see the bike, but quickly abandoned it after a 2-minute-test-ride. It's tough to go from a trike to a bike. I have no doubt he will take to it eventually.

Every birthday I come to realize (again) how lucky I am. I am overcome by such a feeling of gratitude and amazement that these kids are here and I get to know them from scratch. There is nothing sappy or contrived about it... on his birthday, it's me who gets to keep the biggest gift.


Posted by mama at 01:36 PM