Halloween, age 3
Ivan to his Peter-Pan-costumed self in the mirror: "I look fantastic!"
Posted at 11:58 AM on October 30, 2009How I clean the bathroom
Or, "Don't do as I say nor as I do"
A silent play in one act (over several days)
(It begins with an uneasy feeling): There is something I haven't done in a while... Can't quite remember what it is. It's definitely nothing fun.
(Enters bathroom): Oh. Right.
(Leaves bathroom)
--- A few days later ---
(Enters bathroom): I really should clean the bathroom.
(Leaves bathroom)
--- The next day ---
(Brushes teeth dangerously close to the sink): This is quite gross. I need to just get it over with. Focus on the nice and clean bathroom-to-be. It will be wonderful... what a wonderful thing it is to have things nice and clean...
(Leaves bathroom)
---- The next day ----
(Enters bathroom with cleaning supplies. Feels immensely efficient. Feels like she's really got this housewife business down pat. The bathroom at this point still remains untouched.): Let's start with the toilet. Quick and satisfying.
(Actually cleans toilet!)
(After toilet is sparkly, turns slightly to the right to tackle sink): Uhhm... now I have to move all this crap off the sink in order to wipe it.
(Looks at her watch): Wait, I haven't checked facebook in like 12 minutes!
(Leaves bathroom)
--- Two hours later----
(Looks up from the computer): Where am I? What time is it? Crap. The kids are screaming! Only half an hour until dinner time! I didn't do anything!
(PANICS)
(Enters bathroom in a frenzy. Removes crap from sink, wipes sink. Repositions crap back on sink. Grabs Mr. Clean, douses bathtub, scrubs bathtub sloppily, rinses bathtub, grabs rag, wipes floor, sloppily. Final touch: Wipes mirror. Total time of half-assed bathroom cleaning: 10 minutes.)
---- The next day ---
(Husband enters bathroom): Wow, you cleaned the bathroom!
(Successfully replaces memory of dread filled days of avoidance with agony of hard work which never actually took place and gives herself a totally undeserved pat on the back): I did!
Other times, it's just easy
In yet another attempt to make Nikola eat, I made him buttered toast with homemade strawberry jam. He was walking around the kitchen and took a bite off every now and then. Ivan figured it out and soon I had two boys circling me, eyeing the strawberry toast. It was 3.30 on a Friday afternoon and there was nothing else to do but watch these two with their satisfied faces, switching between being silly, teasing each other and hugging me. And my mind went from "I love this moment" to "I will always remember you two like this" to "I need to post about it" to "Where is my camera?"
What does it feel like? Like being in love.
Posted at 05:47 PM on October 16, 2009 | Comments (2)