"Note: every pregnancy is different!"
As with my previous pregnancy I signed up for one of those slightly lame week-by-week pregnancy email updates. It's a free service some websites will offer and you receive weekly emails that say things like "you are now in week 8, your baby looks a little bit like a frog, has a heartbeat and you might be slightly irritable...". They are harmless little emails that contain slightly more pertinent information than a babystyle catalog.
I suppose I do like to find out how big the baby is at the given week, because frankly at this early stage I mostly forget this business is about a baby in the first place. Instead I am just trying to make it through the day without hurting anyone. A weekly update for the week 10 in my world would sound something like this:
If you thought the last few weeks were bad, you better brace yourself. You are now approaching week 12, which is the peak, the top, the worst of the worst of nausea and general rotten mental and physical state. As you count down to this dreadful deadline you may experience the following:
1. Violent vomiting attacks that occur when your stomach is empty and therefore make throwing up particularly difficult and uncomfortable. (This also means you means you have missed your eating deadline, which leads to the next point...)
2. Imperative hunger every two hours, which doesn't feel anything like a good appetite, but more like a need to satiate the monster that is making your stomach curl in most exotic ways. If you fail to eat at those times, be prepared for symptoms above.
3. Specific cravings for specific foods prepared in a specific way and also paired with only specific other foods. Those foods also need to have a specific texture and create specific feeling on tongue. All these specifications will mostly be limited to one day. So what worked yesterday might create symptom number one today. You just won't know. Sorry.
4. Strong desire to maintain horizontal position at all times. If you haven't noticed by now, your body is trying to accumulate the most amount of fat in the shortest amount of time via very strange means. Part of this plan is to not waste any energy on moving. Moving therefore will appear near life-threatening to your (sadly) pregnancy-damaged mind and if all goes well you will be a big Argentinian cow by the time delivery comes along. (Sorry, no offense to the Argentines, just their cows.)
5. Oh and there is also a baby in your uterus. It's very small right now, although the head looks a little too big.
Remember, not all pregnancies are the same. For example, your pregnancy is different! Things that help other women, like accupressure, lemonade and crackers won't do anything for you. Enjoy your week!
Posted at 03:29 AM on August 20, 2005
I have to say your weekly update makes a LOT more sense than the ones I received while pregnant! lol
LOL ... I think you have just convinced me that becoming pregnant might really not be in my future. Scary. :)
Oh, that's too funny.
And don't forget to go OUT and EXCERCISE! Go for a WALK! You'll feel GREAT! And do something NICE for yourself! Get a PEDICURE! Get a MASSAGE! Just remember to bring your puke bucket and a small refrigerator with you for all these outings.
I associate nausea so strongly with pregnancy that I had trouble believing I was pregnant with my last child despite a positive test because there was no nausea. I went on well into menopause taking a pregnancy test every time I felt a little sick to my stomach.
It does get less as you get older.
You can do this, really you can, and it is worth it. A new human being is coming into existance. What a wonderful thing to be able to be part of!
Someday you won't be able to do it any more. And if you haven't had all the babies you want, you'll be sad.
Mother of 9...and still wish I could do it again sometimes.
Susan Peterson