dinka

Identity questions of a different kind

I just got two things in the mail:
- a sample diaper telling me it is the best I could buy.
- a Victoria's Secret catalog asking me: What is sexy?
Being a mother somehow does not evoke pictures of skinny models in lacy underwear... yet does one exclude the other?
I've been wondering in the past weeks what will really change when I become a mother. Ok, I'm not worried about sexy underwear - that was a just an image... you know what I mean.
It does seem more appropriate nowadays to be more of a "girl" when speaking of being a woman, or at least it definitely does not conjure up images of breastfeeding. "Being a mom" has a certain undertone, maybe a little bit as if "mom" does not really go with today's image of the "woman".
But maybe I'm just indoctrinated and biased. I wonder what I'll become. I haven't fit too many molds so far in my life, so I'm not too scared of becoming predictable... but I am a little nervous about what is going to happen to me. Is this child going to take charge over who I am as well?

Posted at 05:25 PM on April 09, 2003

Comments

My reply to your final question:
No, it surely will not, but it will definitely show you, what you really (this word underlined) are - bring it down to the absolute basics; take all off, what is not really you. In certain aspects very helpful and sometimes a bit scaring...
Anyway, it's helpful & necessary to become, what you're meant to be...

Posted by Martin at April 10, 2003 6:41 AM

Also in refernce to your last question...when you got married did that take over who you were as well? Yes and no right? Before you were Single Dinka, then you were Dinka, Wife of Lincoln, but you are still Dinka. Now you are Dinka, MOther of Suzie, but you are still Dinka. Being a mother does take over who you are, but you do not cease to be you. You just grow into yet another role.But for a time this role fills up a great deal of emotional, financial and emotional resources. But parenthood is an act of self-giving love and of service.

You can still shop at Victoria Secrets if you choose to (I do). But I dare say, things like Victoria Secrets do not complement things like images of breastfeeding because they use the gift of fertilty and warp it. The whole notion of being "sexy" is to find a mate and attract him to want to reproduce with you.

I used to like to get my nails done, which I do not do anymore, I do not have the time or extra money. But why is that? I am a mother, there is nothing more wonderful. Keep the nails.

Posted by Pansy Moss at April 10, 2003 2:01 PM

Maybe this child will finally turn you into a decent Inuit. :-)

Knowing nothing about this subject, I don't think it would change you. It will add to you and force you to grow, but growing and learning doesn't take away from who a person is--it adds to it. I think our society/media/whatever enjoys categorizing and characterizing people. Mother. Wife. Sexy. Ugly. Single. Married. No one person is one of these things, but we're always running around trying to "define" ourselves, which is useless. I reserve the right to be undefineable. :-)

Posted by Maryanne at April 10, 2003 5:06 PM

dinka, I just wanted to say you know some really nice and clever people: hi maryanne, hi pansy moss, I love your comments .... :-)
tessa

Posted by tessa at April 12, 2003 2:29 AM

tessa, you are right, they are very clever! only they chose to live in california and NY state respectively! :( they think i'm only nice from far away!
maryanne, pansy, tessa is my oldest sister (she is actually pretty ancient as well ;)

Posted by dinka at April 12, 2003 7:26 AM

Looks like this comment window has changed into a chatroom!

Posted by Daniel at April 12, 2003 9:34 AM

Hi Tessa! Nice to "meet" you. Are you in Austria? How many sisters are there? Isn't there a brother, too?

Dinka, if you would just finally move to California, we could have such fun. :-) Don't you want your baby to learn how to say, "Dude"?

Posted by Maryanne at April 12, 2003 12:25 PM

But if she moved to CA, she would be farther away from NY. :(

Posted by Pansy Moss at April 12, 2003 5:09 PM

OOOOHH yes, in fact, there is a brother!!! My name is Daniel, I'm 17 years old, goodlooking, nice, clever and VERY VERY important, right Dinka and Tessa???

Posted by Daniel at April 13, 2003 4:37 AM

Daniel,

I thought there was a brother. I just didn't realize he'd be so very modest. :-) I can see the resemblance to Dinka already.

Posted by Maryanne at April 13, 2003 12:27 PM

Looks like I'll have to introduce my family at some point... you guys just gave me an idea! ;)

Posted by dinka at April 13, 2003 9:58 PM

well, Dinka, do introduce us .... as Daniel said we are very, very important
and Daniel; yes, you are all you are claiming to be, we chose you carefully, we would never have taken just any brother ;-))))

Posted by tessa at April 14, 2003 2:26 AM

aaaaaaaawwwwwwww Thanks! :-)))

Posted by Daniel at April 14, 2003 2:51 AM

Well,don`t forget me, the most beautiful and nice woman in my house!

Posted by dora at April 14, 2003 10:20 AM

hehehe.. true! please meet my sister dora, the only woman in her house by the way...
:)

Posted by dinka at April 14, 2003 10:01 PM